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"Flex time just isn't the same anymore..."
Posted by wisper t on September 2, 2008 - 12:20 PM
"All Together Now!!"
Posted by Blazerss on September 2, 2008 - 12:22 PM
"All Together Now!!"
Posted by Blazerss on September 2, 2008 - 12:22 PM
If we could get them to all row at the same time and in the same direction we could really get this agency moving ahead.
Posted by mark from 1986 on September 2, 2008 - 12:39 PM
Even though we are rowing up stream, at least we have some paddles.
Posted by oldz67 on September 2, 2008 - 12:43 PM
I wonder if the IG would consider a stroke beat to be personal services?
Posted by Ex-FED on September 2, 2008 - 12:45 PM
We thought we'd let the committee test the canoe prototype they designed.
Posted by nomad on September 2, 2008 - 12:46 PM
I see now why the office softball team isn't doing so well this season.
Posted by KSt on September 2, 2008 - 12:51 PM
The good news is we are team building. The bad news is that the group manager has taken up water skiing.
Posted by au on September 2, 2008 - 01:05 PM
Typical of this administration, we see an example of an office ready to go, but lacking effective leadership.
Posted by Roland W. on September 2, 2008 - 01:07 PM
"A stroke of genius" and I thought it was just a venaciuluar.
Posted by dc22209 on September 2, 2008 - 01:09 PM
"Yep, the new hires from VikingTemps Inc... management reluctantly had to let Samurai Source Corporation go, after the lastest disembowelment at this years vendor conference... They will be missed."
Posted by techyted on September 2, 2008 - 01:11 PM
FEMA's new COOP plan for hurricanes dramatically reduces downtime.
Posted by GK2858 on September 2, 2008 - 01:20 PM
At least we won't be up the creek without a paddle during this reorganization!!
Posted by NSPS Victim on September 2, 2008 - 01:23 PM
Now the challenge is to get everyone rowing in the same direction.
Posted by ARIZONA-VET on September 2, 2008 - 01:31 PM
The CIO said we needed a mobile app, but. . . .
Posted by Salgak on September 2, 2008 - 01:35 PM
Management has gone "over board" with their training requirements. At least next time, we won't be "up the creek without a paddle".
Posted by Rob B on September 2, 2008 - 01:38 PM
When FEMA made their presentation on flood preparation, some took it as a warning sign.
Posted by IASecurity on September 2, 2008 - 01:38 PM
Sir, if we get a drum and beat it fast, they will work harder and we can gather more riches for the CEO and bring more glory upon ourselves.
Posted by Pete4215 on September 2, 2008 - 01:42 PM
Ever since the coxswain was declared redundant, we just don't seem to get the same performance.
Posted by xwarzbek on September 2, 2008 - 01:50 PM
Our Transition Team drills have made the staff a lot more competitive.
Posted by Sunny on September 2, 2008 - 02:04 PM
The Olympics have really inspired the new sales team.
Posted by Jimboob on September 2, 2008 - 02:50 PM
I am not certain that this is what they meant about Going Green. Seems as if the idea was good though the practicality of it leaves a little to be determined.
Posted by Michael63 on September 2, 2008 - 03:02 PM
Give them a challege, take away the paddles on the left side!!
Posted by Zap1660 on September 2, 2008 - 03:08 PM
Isn't OMB taking infrastructure standardization a bit too far?
Posted by flip on September 2, 2008 - 03:11 PM
So this is what it's like being up Schitz Creek with a paddle?
Posted by greeny on September 2, 2008 - 04:17 PM
Caption: This gives a whole new meaning to the saying "not having all your oars in the water"
Posted by JR on September 2, 2008 - 04:56 PM
I don't think this is what the CEO meant when he said we need to keep our heads above water.
I guess it's "sink or swim" since the training budget was cut.
I just hope we don't get "broadsided" by the competition.
Posted by DNT on September 3, 2008 - 06:18 AM
With four project managers and four new VPs, it's too bad there's no money left for water or a boat.
Posted by jfeiertag on September 3, 2008 - 08:36 AM
Finally, we are ready to launch our new application!
Posted by Mick K. on September 3, 2008 - 08:41 AM
Under Obama, the "new" Navy.
Posted by To Burke on September 3, 2008 - 08:43 AM
So ... when will Halleburton deliver the water?
Posted by Barry on September 3, 2008 - 08:52 AM
The whole IT shop is having a stroke after the CIO's last decree.
Posted by V on September 3, 2008 - 09:01 AM
I don't think this thing will float !!!
Posted by 7yankee7 on September 3, 2008 - 09:20 AM
1) HR says they have current experience.
2) "Good thing we did moor with less."
Posted by rickblum on September 3, 2008 - 09:24 AM
Everyone...ramming speed!
Posted by fjc33 on September 3, 2008 - 09:52 AM
Everyone...ramming speed!
Posted by fjc33 on September 3, 2008 - 09:53 AM
"We keep you alive to serve this ship. Row well and live."
Wish I could take credit but it is from Ben Hur. You can get the sound bite on line.
Posted by lighthouse on September 3, 2008 - 09:58 AM
No problem -- it's the FEMA desk working Southern Louisiana!
Posted by jordandw on September 3, 2008 - 10:06 AM
there's no flies on this crew!
Posted by Plurb on September 3, 2008 - 10:28 AM
Aren't ya glad you're not a GS-9 anymore?
Posted by mycroftxxx on September 3, 2008 - 10:34 AM
These "green" initiatives are getting out of hand.
Posted by TonyU on September 3, 2008 - 10:43 AM
We're up the paddle without a creek.
Posted by bcabana on September 3, 2008 - 10:43 AM
(via e-mail:) I told you it was getting deep in here.
Posted by jsmeditor on September 3, 2008 - 10:45 AM
(via e-mail:) Home Depot is not the only major employer of the Olympic athletes. Jim Hinderliter
Posted by jsmeditor on September 3, 2008 - 10:45 AM
(via e-mail:) “They say it came out of a Lean Six Sigma downstream process improvement.”
Posted by jsmeditor on September 3, 2008 - 10:45 AM
(via e-mail:) "Emergency Preparedness Drill: Scenario 1 - Water Cooler Rupture." "Stu M
Posted by jsmeditor on September 3, 2008 - 10:46 AM
(via e-mail:) “This isn’t exactly what I had in mind when I said I support the idea of a mobile workforce.” BillS
Posted by jsmeditor on September 3, 2008 - 10:46 AM
suggested caption for the cartoon: "the vendor did such a good job at installtion...you cant see the chains"
Posted by thebestvendor on September 3, 2008 - 10:46 AM
(via e-mail:) Man speaking to woman: “I know that I told you to ‘Get this Ship-of-State’ underway; but I was referring to the new project.”
Posted by jsmeditor on September 3, 2008 - 10:47 AM
(via e-mail:) “Our new “Green Power” program has reduced our electricity bills by 8.5 percent.”
Posted by jsmeditor on September 3, 2008 - 10:47 AM
(via e-mail:) Above one of the cubes, in a bubble: "It's not enough I have to sit in this cube and work all day - now I have to EXERCISE here too!"
E Baerwald
Posted by jsmeditor on September 3, 2008 - 10:47 AM
(via e-mail:) And above one of the folks standing by: "The safety officer isn't going to like this… this is a flagrant tripping hazard!"
E Baerwald
Posted by jsmeditor on September 3, 2008 - 10:48 AM
(via e-mail:) And above the manager in the office in the background… "I guess I shouldn't have called them my 'crew'…"
E Baerwald
Posted by jsmeditor on September 3, 2008 - 10:48 AM
(via e-mail:) "They just got back from the FEB-sponsored FEMA crash course on Hurricane Preparedness."
J.D.
Posted by jsmeditor on September 3, 2008 - 10:48 AM
(via e-mail:) I'd feel better if this wasn't the FEMA disaster recovery team New Orleans headquarters.
Posted by jsmeditor on September 3, 2008 - 10:49 AM
(via e-mail:) I'd feel better if this weren't our disaster recovery team.
Posted by jsmeditor on September 3, 2008 - 10:49 AM
(via e-mail:) Now that's what I call teamwork!
Posted by jsmeditor on September 3, 2008 - 10:49 AM
(via e-mail:) This is one project that will never be up a creek without a paddle!
Posted by jsmeditor on September 3, 2008 - 10:49 AM
(via e-mail:) We support out Olympic athletes!
Posted by jsmeditor on September 3, 2008 - 10:49 AM
(via e-mail:) The boss wants to water ski at 3:30 today.
Posted by jsmeditor on September 3, 2008 - 10:50 AM
(via e-mail:) The alternative energy plan just isn't working as well as the consultant said it would.
Posted by jsmeditor on September 3, 2008 - 10:50 AM
(via e-mail:) It seems our new disaster recovery specialist's only work experience was on a lifeguard crew in Australia!
Posted by jsmeditor on September 3, 2008 - 10:50 AM
(via e-mail:) You will never be up the creek without a paddle with us…we guarantee it!
Posted by jsmeditor on September 3, 2008 - 10:50 AM
(via e-mail:) "I think management is taking this "green" thing a little too far...have them turn the power back on."
Dan Arseneault
Posted by jsmeditor on September 3, 2008 - 10:50 AM
(via e-mail:) Man speaking to Woman…..”I know I referred to this new project as a ‘sink or swim opportunity’ but this is ridiculous.”
Posted by jsmeditor on September 3, 2008 - 10:51 AM
(via e-mail:) These “green” initiatives are getting out of hand.
Posted by jsmeditor on September 3, 2008 - 10:51 AM
OMB is still working out some of the kinks on the Federal Desktop Configuration.
Posted by GregMundell on September 3, 2008 - 11:24 AM
"They're practicing for the new sport in the 2012 Olympics, sychronized cube rowing."
Posted by KD ISO on September 3, 2008 - 11:36 AM
"Uh Bob, my motivational speech was about putting the 'PEDAL' to the metal....."
Posted by KD ISO on September 3, 2008 - 11:40 AM
"I guess this is what happens when you outsource jobs to norwegians"
Posted by evanlarsen on September 3, 2008 - 12:10 PM
"I'm not sure this is quite what the President or Congress had in mind when they said we could hire more Deepwater acquisition staff."
Posted by t1234 on September 3, 2008 - 01:09 PM
1)This is what you call the beginnings of transforming "cubicle-ism" into "workplace cooperation."
2)"But this IS productivity powered by human hands!"
3)"Ok. This is NOT what I meant when I said we each must paddle through our own work."
4)Any day at DOD: "He said Battle- Boards for each cubicle, not Paddle- Oars!"
5) "What? The boss said help them paddle through their work, didn't he?"
Posted by DCinPA on September 3, 2008 - 01:48 PM
I guess they heard the news about the project going under.
Posted by DOLog on September 3, 2008 - 02:28 PM
This new office configuration and tool set is supposed to help these Federal Contracting Officers to complete all of their end-of-fiscal year procurement actions--just not exactly sure of how though?
Posted by db on September 3, 2008 - 05:32 PM
Uh Karen, we thought you said federal desktop "oar" configuration.
Posted by GregMundell on September 4, 2008 - 12:24 AM
Any idea where they are going?
Posted by HuskerFan on September 4, 2008 - 09:15 AM
"I understand the new manager was a coxswain for Yale."
Posted by sckinz1 on September 4, 2008 - 09:17 AM
Must have been a translation problem in Procurement...I ordered swizzle sticks for coffee!
Posted by uss on September 4, 2008 - 09:26 AM
The new system has been implemented and we saved money by using highway marker signs to make the paddles.
Posted by smokey on September 4, 2008 - 09:31 AM
1. You know, if we really want to get things moving here, we need to hire the person that SOLD us these oars....
2. Yeah, this "Team Building" exercise sounded a lot better in the proposal...
Posted by LeaZD on September 4, 2008 - 09:41 AM
I see everyone brought their paddles for the spanking they're about to take in the budget reviews.
Posted by FairEnuff on September 4, 2008 - 09:55 AM
...I know, gray is a weird color to paint an office wall. Hey, I meant to apologize for spilling coffee on your tie. That folder should cover the stain though.
Posted by jpalm_98 on September 4, 2008 - 10:07 AM
Woman: "I hear George turned down the promotion to Coxswain." Man: "Yeah. George thinks the target looks better on the back of the CEO that dreamed up this team thing!"
Posted by crafty on September 4, 2008 - 10:31 AM
Who's in charge of yelling "Oars up!" when the boss walks in?
Posted by crafty on September 4, 2008 - 10:33 AM
I see everyone is ready for Johnson's birthday party!
Posted by crafty on September 4, 2008 - 10:34 AM
It's pledge week for the new developers' fraternity.
Posted by crafty on September 4, 2008 - 10:35 AM
Good tools. Good effort. But where's the boat?
Posted by Dnelson on September 4, 2008 - 11:13 AM
Talk about teamwork!
Posted by Dnelson on September 4, 2008 - 11:15 AM
White House staff prepares for the next administration.
Posted by ChrisVA on September 4, 2008 - 01:30 PM
"We took a slightly different approach to "Green IT""
Posted by cweaver871 on September 4, 2008 - 01:49 PM
It's just another exercise in teamwork!
Posted by Sunny on September 4, 2008 - 04:05 PM
Yeah, some vendor told the boss blade servers were more efficient.
Posted by au on September 5, 2008 - 05:41 AM
I guess we know where they stand on Roe vs. Wade.
Posted by KD ISO on September 5, 2008 - 09:15 AM
now i remember the song. it's "paddaling madelyn" home
Posted by winsboro on September 5, 2008 - 11:05 AM
(via e-mail:) "Looks like they're still working out the bugs with the new Oaracle database."
Posted by jsmeditor on September 5, 2008 - 11:10 AM
"These days how else does the company stay afloat?"
"He wasn't kidding when he said '...sinking ship;'"
"..and the money we save on health care really adds up."
"It's another OARdinary day here at Smith and Jones."
Laurie Marshall
Posted by jsmeditor on September 5, 2008 - 11:15 AM
(via e-mail:) “We’re on the 15th floor….isn’t the office staff taking the FEMA Flood Survival Guidelines a little too seriously???”
“I didn’t say NOAH…..I said, ‘NOAA has predicted that the hurricanes this year will cause massive flooding!!’”
skheiler
Posted by jsmeditor on September 5, 2008 - 01:09 PM
If the boss says “Stroke” one more time, I thing I’ll have one.
She says “Just who did the boss hire?” He says “The Olympic Rowing Team – their cutting back, only practice on break.”
Maggie
Posted by jsmeditor on September 5, 2008 - 01:11 PM
(via e-mail:) "It really is true the boss treats his workers like galley slaves."
Posted by jsmeditor on September 5, 2008 - 01:12 PM
(via e-mail:) “There were a heck of a lot of things they did not tell me about this job before I signed on.”
Posted by jsmeditor on September 5, 2008 - 01:15 PM
(via e-mail:)
1. So, this is where they train corporate raiders... 2. I see the hurricane business continuity exercise is going well. 3. I guess this must be where all the frat boys hang out. 4. They take their employee fitness program pretty seriously here. 5. Engineering says the rest of the boat won't be ready until FY10. 6. Looks like the co-op rowing simulator LAN party is tonight. 7. They say it's preparation for a 'team-building exercise.' I say the boss is too cheap to rent a power launch.
Robert G. Ferrell
Posted by jsmeditor on September 5, 2008 - 01:16 PM
(via e-mail:)
"Office productivity has gone down since the new 'Canoe Hero' game came out."
"These are the folks who maintain the bathroom keys."
"This new fitness policy is getting out of hand."
"I'm just glad they didn't take up skeet shooting."
Matt Rushing
Posted by jsmeditor on September 5, 2008 - 01:17 PM
(via e-mail:)
"We've been up this creek before, but this time we have paddles."
"I said either/OR!"
"Sometimes it seems as though we're going nowhere fast."
"Maybe we should do our functional testing in the field."
"When developers do their own testing..."
Jack Harston
Posted by jsmeditor on September 5, 2008 - 01:18 PM
(via e-mail:)
"As you can see, we've implemented Phase 1 of the CEO's new Team Building program. Phase 2 will start when they hire the drum beater and the guys with whips."
Posted by jsmeditor on September 5, 2008 - 01:18 PM
(via e-mail:)
"So much for the dry run, lets get this baby afloat!"
Posted by jsmeditor on September 5, 2008 - 01:19 PM
(via e-mail:)
"How is this Six Sigma?"
"I don't think this is what the boss meant by disaster preparedness."
"So, agreed...never let the boss attend another motivational off-site."
Posted by jsmeditor on September 5, 2008 - 01:20 PM
(via e-mail:)
"That's what we get for 'outsourcing' seat management to the Navy." "Um, I don't think that's exactly what she meant by getting our 'ducks in a row.'" Ken at ITI
Posted by jsmeditor on September 5, 2008 - 01:21 PM
"This is the Government, Jane. Don't confuse motion with progress."
Posted by NextGen on September 5, 2008 - 02:36 PM
"This is the government, Jane. Don't confuse motion with progress."
Posted by NextGen on September 5, 2008 - 02:37 PM
Yes, flex time was just the start of our gas saving strategies...
Posted by babcockb on September 8, 2008 - 08:19 AM
The boss said this project wouldn't fly.... they're comming up with alternatives.
Posted by KidClay on September 8, 2008 - 08:29 AM
So, what kind of feedback have you received about the Work Cruise idea?
Posted by PloneDev on September 8, 2008 - 08:39 AM
This brings new meaning to the term Client Stroking.
Posted by EagleEye on September 8, 2008 - 10:35 AM
It's part of our Emergency Prepardness Plan. During an emergency, we provide all essential employees with swizzle sticks and we pump coffee into each cube from Starbucks.
Posted by Sunny on September 8, 2008 - 11:17 AM
1) So, it's a FEMA A76 competition? 2) FEMA prepares for another hurricane season. 3) ...and this is the New Orleans Mayor's office
Posted by 1611KJB on September 8, 2008 - 11:33 AM
"And then the boss said, You've got to think outside the box instead of just spinning your wheels!"
Posted by uss on September 8, 2008 - 11:58 AM
It appears the team's still coupled to docking stations.
Posted by atelier on September 8, 2008 - 12:03 PM
Efforts to reexamine Pythagorean Theorem ran aground shortly after mission deployment.
Posted by atelier on September 8, 2008 - 01:28 PM
If Home Depot can employ olympic athletes, so can the Federal Government!
Posted by Evidence on September 9, 2008 - 09:22 AM
Be thankful they hide the chains during new employee interviews
Posted by feral on September 9, 2008 - 01:30 PM
(Via e-mail:)
"Is this a joke, or are we really up a creek?"
"At least, they have both oars in the water, compared to Congress and the Executive Branch."
"That’s it! No more Titanic references at staff meetings!"
"They just haven't been as efficient since we out- sourced their immediate supervisor overseas."
Posted by jsmeditor on September 9, 2008 - 01:39 PM
Streamlined reorg.
Posted by agardner on September 9, 2008 - 01:54 PM
"I told HR a recruiting fair at the Harvard Yacht Club was a bad idea."
Posted by GeekGuard on September 9, 2008 - 02:20 PM
1. Man to woman: "... and when one of them finds a bug, they raise their flag."
2. The staff are a little concerned about the random Nerf attacks.
3. After the next hurricane, this will be the entrance to the yacht club.
4. ... and the dock goes over there
5. OSHA has new guidelines for preventing cubical tipping.
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Posted by queuejutt on September 11, 2008 - 07:47 AM
Now we're moving. We expect rudder funding in FY11.
Posted by AlbusLux on September 11, 2008 - 02:00 PM
"It's supposed to improve production by keeping employees at their desks. Instead of leaving your desk for a break, you just row for 10 minutes."
Posted by PK on September 15, 2008 - 10:41 AM
That bonding get-away-weekend sure has had an affect!
Posted by mjash on September 15, 2008 - 10:51 AM
I didn't realizie so many of our employees commuted from Galveston.
Posted by BoxersRule on September 15, 2008 - 02:50 PM
This is the latest Federal directive on how to securely move data.
Posted by BottomoftheHill on September 16, 2008 - 12:21 PM
Well... At least they're working together.
Posted by rogerk on September 16, 2008 - 03:46 PM
Well... At least they're working together.
Posted by rogerk on September 16, 2008 - 03:47 PM
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"Bob, I misunderstood. I thought you said you had a great team of 'scholars'"
Posted by tlister on September 17, 2008 - 11:17 AM
"Sally, the key is to treat your employees as individuals!"
Posted by tlister on September 17, 2008 - 11:33 AM
"I can now provide my people a choice if the office floods, 'Row vs Wade!'"
Posted by tlister on September 17, 2008 - 11:37 AM
"As part of our 'Green office' campaign, we only have to row for an hour in the morning and we can run the PC's all day."
Posted by tlister on September 17, 2008 - 11:42 AM
"We're trying something new. One side is Government, the other side is contractors."
Posted by tlister on September 17, 2008 - 11:46 AM
...and here in our new technology testbed production has tripled using these new high definition input devices...
Posted by mwensyel on September 17, 2008 - 02:59 PM
Productivity is up over 500% since we instituted your "S.W.A.T. technique" (Strategic Work Attitude Training) and tied it to our internet monitoring tools...
Posted by wicdfun on September 17, 2008 - 05:31 PM
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Posted by BiximimiTog on September 18, 2008 - 01:31 PM
"In the event of human fatigue, we have backup electric power for these cubicles!"
Posted by tlister on September 18, 2008 - 02:14 PM
"FEMA tests new Disaster Recovery Plan"
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"Some days it seems like we keep going in circles!"
Posted by ed on September 23, 2008 - 12:13 PM
"Beats me. All I know is that the boss went to a 'Creative Management' seminar in 'Vegas last month."
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